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Category Archives: religion

Mormon Journey Part 10: Liberated

by heather
If you guys have read all the way through parts 1 through 9, you deserve a gold star for hanging in there. If you're local and you've read through the whole thing and you want a prize, I'll give you some of my food storage. So like many committed Mormons, learning this information was painful. I thought that if I just kept researching I would find information to help me keep my faith. I prayed and researched and waited for General Conference (April 2013). Like a good Mormon girl I brought my questions Read more [...]

The Non-Faith-Destroying Historically Accurate Young Women’s Lesson about Joseph Smith

by heather
Last year I was a Young Women's leader going through a faith crisis and I was supposed to teach a lesson on Joseph Smith and the Restoration. Actually I was pretty done believing the truth claims of the LDS church before this point, but was in the 'I'm going to be a NOM' phase. I had some anxiety about this because I wasn't 100% sure about Joseph Smith and I just wanted to avoid being in a situation where I had to say "I know that Joseph Smith was a prophet of God". I planned a lesson on the Read more [...]

Mormon Journey Part 9: The Temple

by heather
For those who are reading this who may still be believers, let me say up front that I'm not going to reveal any signs or tokens, or anything that I promised not too. Anyone who is remotely inclined can google it to watch videos of the entire endowment ceremony or read transcripts, I don't need to share that here. However, some of this may still be uncomfortable, I know that it was for me. It never feels good to discover that you've been deceived. As a youth growing up in the LDS church, it was Read more [...]

Mormon Journey Part 8: Conversations, Young Womens and Rape Culture

by heather
At this point I was in a tail-spin, something that I think many who have lost their faith can identify with.  For those who are reading who still may be believers, I want you to know that it is a myth that the modern ex-Mormon left 'because they wanted to sin or they were offended'. I cried. I prayed. I fasted. I hardly slept. I read my scriptures and the Ensign like my life depended on it and cried some more. And I listened to dozens and dozens of pod casts. Everywhere I looked the things that Read more [...]

Mormon Journey Part 7: The Shelf Cracks

by heather
I have always had many awkward and misshaped shelf items. Experiences I'd had that didn't fit into the gospel puzzle as I understood it. Experiences that I put on the metaphorical shelf because I couldn't find satisfying answers. Sometimes when it was relevant to the conversation I would bring up one of these experiences. And on more than one occasion the friend at the other end of the conversation would say "Heather, I have no idea how you have a testimony." Which always struck me as really Read more [...]

Mormon Journey Part 6: Polygamy

by heather
I had come to terms with polygamy. I live in southern Utah and I have multiple friends who are happily living in polygamous relationships. If living that way makes them happy and no one is getting hurt, then it isn't really my business. I was also told growing up that part of the reason that polygamy was necessary was because there were so many more women than men, and Mormon doctrine dictates that a woman has to be married to reach the highest level of Celestial Kingdom. I have a very dear friend Read more [...]

Mormon Journey Part 5: Communication & Translation

by heather
So my husband and I found ourselves in a mixed faith marriage, and it sucked. The tension made our relationship  painful. I knew that his mission had been hard and that he struggled with depression through a good part of it, but it wasn't until very recently that I fully realized how very damaging his mission had been to his mental health.  I met with our bishop once about it, and he had had multiple conversations with Alan about his 'faith crisis'. He told me that the only good thing that had Read more [...]

Mormon Journey Part 4: My Husband’s Mission and Why it was a big part of him leaving

by heather
Part 1 Part 2 Part 3 I had my husband write this part of the story from his point of view Why I Left I was a good kid. I did my best to follow the commandments and live up to what was expected of me. I truly believed that the church was true. But I never knew it. This always bothered me deeply, because I was supposed to know it. Every Fast and Testimony meeting, people would rise to the stand and proclaim that they absolutely know that the church is true. I would never bear testimony, Read more [...]

Mormon Journey Part 1: Religion and My Childhood

by heather
I realize that there are people in all parts of the spectrum who aren't going to agree with what I have to say. I'm not telling my story to try to convince anyone, I'm telling my (our) story to tell the story. I told part of our story here, but there was more to it, before and after. I have many friends and acquaintances who have asked me to share it. I hope that it helps you readers, wherever you are in your journey. If it helps you with your faith, great. If it helps you with your doubts, awesome. Read more [...]

Book Review: My Story by Elizabeth Smart

by heather
My Story by Elizabeth Smart (with Chris Stewart)is both horrifying and beautiful. Horrifying because of what she went through (although she does not go into any kind of graphic detail, which I'm sure most readers would appreciate) and beautiful because of the strength that she has. It is beautiful because through the dreadfulness of her experience she continued to have hope, and because she pulled something positive out of this experience, going on to become an advocate for recovery programs and Read more [...]

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